hello there

Don’t let anyone deter you from any personal or professional goals, no matter how lofty or grandiose they are.

i have tons of new years resolutions.

"Representar, como reconhecer e recordar, é um ato que faz uso das experiências dos criadores, de sua cultura, aprendizagem e habilidades artísticas, de seus pensamentos, estados de espírito e disposições emocionais." SCHAPIRO, Meyer. Impressionismo, 2002

fragments

I´m reading "Letters to a Young Poet" by Rainer Maria Rilke and have been recording the parts that, at the moment, seem most relevant to me.



"...finally I want to add just one more bit of advice: to keep growing,
silently and earnestly, through your while development; you couldn’t disturb it
any more violently than by looking outside and waiting for outside answers to
question that only your innermost feeling, in your quietest hour, can perhaps
answer."

“Being an artist means: not numbering and counting, but ripening
like a tree, which doesn’t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of
spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it
comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast.”

“But that is one of the most difficult tests for the creator: he must
always remain unconscious, unaware of his best virtues, if he doesn’t want to rob
them of their candor and innocence!”


“If you trust in Nature, in the small Things that hardly anyone sees and that can so suddenly become huge, immeasurable; if you have this love for what is humble and try very simply, as someone who serves, to win the confidence of what seems poor: then
everything will become easier for you, more coherent and somehow more
reconciling, not in your conscious mind perhaps, which stays behind, astonished,
but in your innermost awareness, awakeness, and knowledge. You are so young,
so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love
the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very
foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you
now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live
everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you
will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. Perhaps
you do carry within you the possibility of creating and forming, as an especially
blessed and pure way of living; train your for that — but take whatever comes,
with great trust, and as long as it comes out of your will, out of some need of
your innermost self, then take it upon yourself, and don’t hate anything.”


“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. for those who are near you are far away, you write, and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast. And if what is near you is far away, then your vastness is already among the stars and is very great; be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend.”

back on

I have been trying to watch less tv and only surf the web when necessary, so that i could use my time more wisely. Ive been doing this for about 2-3 months now. Im realizing that it is a good idea for someone as unfocused as me, unfortunately. Im reading Fayga Ostrowers book on creativity again, actually im reading 4 books simutaneously, 5 the past week (art history), and im so glad im back on that because i have been feeling more expressive lately. There is one problem, i dont seem to let go of time when im working, sometimes 10 minutes go by and i feel like stopping, like i have been at it for 2 hours. I know there is something wrong because i could work for hours on end and only stop to eat very fast just to go back right away. I think there is a lot i need to get out, in a very clear way. i think i have been choosing the wrong methods and ive been blaming everything i can and everyone and myself. Whats really to blame? My chatty mind with overlapping thoughts.

wood, styrofoam, printing, material research

wood prints-planet prints-styrofoam bubbles-modern igloo-plastic bottle igloo

leap of faith

i asked to open a random book and read a passage that gave me advice to act upon.





pg 62

Fui a um médico, expus-lhe minhas observações, procurei descrever-lhe o meu mal. Ele as leu, fez perguntas e começou a me examinar.
"O senhor tem uma saúde invejável", elogiou o médico após o exame. "Fisicamente nada lhe falta. Procure distrair-se com leitura e música."
"Eu já leio, por profissão, diariamente uma porção de coisas novas."
"De qualquer forma seria aconselhável praticar exercícios ao zar livre"
"Ando todos os dias de três a quatro horas e nas férias pelo menos o dobro."
"Então o senhor deve se obrigar a conviver com outras pessoas, pois corre o risco de se tornar, seriamente, um misantropo."
"E o que importa isso?"
"Importa que o caso pode se tornar grave. Quanto mais tempo se passar, maior será seu desprazer no convívio com as pessoas e daí a necessidade do senhor se esforçar por procurá-las. Seu estado ainda não é patológico e não me parece digno de preocupações; porém, se o senhor não deixar de perambular por aí de maneira tão passiva, poderá bem perder o seu equilíbrio."

Watching part of Matilda and all of Inkheart today reminded me i havent been reading, i think the whole point of this day was to remind me to open up a book again. i have been feeling a bit empty lately and i figured its because i havent been exercising my imagination.

what is

What is the difference of painting landscape and the human figure?
You see a figure from outside. A landscape you experience and paint from within. It is like eating soup versus swimming in it. Very different.

-Alex Kanevsky
interview

i want this

NOW

amusing

little people

right now: collage, ceramics, and paper mache

paper lamp - decor 8 - upintheair somewhere - lotta agaton

i have the

i need to learn to jUggle

ar ti cle

wejetsetmag
__________________________________________
i dont know how to handle too many things at the same time

i dont want to deal with my social/emotional life

i choose concentration on my work.

butterpillar - catterfly

" Dos diversos instrumentos do homem, o mais assombroso é, indubitavelmente, o livro. Os outros são extensões do corpo. O microscópio e o telescópio são extensões da vista; o telefone é o prolongamento da voz; seguem-se o arado e a espada, extensões do seu braço. Mas o livro é outra coisa: o livro é uma extensão da memória e da imaginação. "

Borges, Oral - Jorge Luís Borges

drawing class is getting interesting
finally, we're using light

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i feel im changing. thats a good thing. im so glad. i want to grow and change always. i never want to be at the same spot for too long.

lately

we took a trip

to my dads city

before that i had to work with dry pastels



which gave me serious allergies even though i improvised a really cool but inneficient mask


ate cake and other stuff at my aunts birthday party

my cousin finally brought my sisters old drawers

simba napping

i found my new favorite passtime

NEWSPAPER BLACKOUT POETRY

animal my SOUL

i tell myself to ignore anything that may keep me out of focus,
but am i really ever focused?
i am beggining to doubt that.
maybe what i meant to myself was
my focus in a bright future.

i tend to let anything get in the way,

it makes me think its because i dont really want anything so bad
that makes me work so hard for it.
that makes me insecure and scared.

im turning 20 in a month and i dont know what im doing.

i know a lot of people live their life without knowing,
but somehow that freaks me out.
waking up everyday to horrible news about death, rapes, car accidents and every other freak accident is beggining to scare the shit out of me.
when its sunny outside everything seems better, but all this rain gives the city a really bad smell and a creppy vibe.
i rush though everything when im not home.
i come in late and leave class early everyday because i dont want to be outside.
not that im paranoid, but its giving me such a negative feeling, an urge to leave, i know i cant now, so that only makes me feel worse.
theres no use in discussing something like this.
its one of those things everyone dismisses as stupid or unecessary.
the best you can do is shut up and live with it.

i guess i understand now why brazilians are so happy looking all the time.
they do it to cover up the fact that theyve lost hope in change.
theyve learned to live with all this stress and the best they can do is ignore it all and live their lives the best they can.
maybe this was realized by an earlier generation, and it all got lost through time and now no one really knows whats behind all the partying and living life at ease.
i rather not get involved,
i wanna be the oil in this body of water.
im mixed right now but eventually
ill come out on top.


watch=yFmTeGuhPa8

you know when youre tired even though youve slept all day?

thats how i feel.



ryanmcginley photography

sorte : surto

"Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final"


Rainer Maria Rilke

im reading again

A Paixao Segundo G.H.
Clarice Lispector

livro completo

the question is: where do YOU want to be?

Roxy Paine -- Chis Drury

i am attracted to everything mostly visually. i have thought that i was interested in concept. i probably still am, because i believe anything has a meaning behind it. I WANT TO BE in a world where the beautiful meaning of things are understood. where the colors and forms can speak without words and we can listen with our eyes. i adore all my other senses. but i dont know where i would be without my vision.

here, specifically, i dont care what the artist meant with this vortex surrounding a tree. im sure im not offending him, im sure he would be happy to know that just the thought of being inside it and admiring the scenery amazes me.

i should startstart

what it is is what it is

By day I praised you
and never knew it.
By night I stayed with you
and never knew it.
I always thought that
I was me--but no,
I was you
and never knew it.

-Rumi

i got a cold over the weekend, now im starting the weekend with a stuffy nose and a sore throat. i've been missing class a lot lately, its not even an option anymore. i just hope it doesn't rain this week. that doesnt mean i wish it to be super hot, god no.

i have a to do list from last year still waiting to be done. i cant believe i run out of gas so fast.