ive been working on a railroad

im getting french 2
im getting that exchange program
im getting that trip
im getting that laptop
im getting that comfy room
im getting those big ideas

Supah Freak

I went to the zoo today. Needs a lot done there but the animals keep all the visitors charmed, so no one really notices the crappy environment. All my classes were cancelled for the rest of the week and im relieved. Just as relieved as i was today after my test. Not because i was done taking the test, but because i drank coffee this morning and my bladder was super full, i couldnt even walk straight, and after a lot of searching i found a peeable bathroom. I've been having anxiety attacks, they are usually at night. Yesterday i freaked out, but i woke up this morning without a thought on my mind, except: shit i have to wait 2 hours for the room to open. I had less than 20 pages to finish my book. It frustrated me because i hate starting a book RIGHT AFTER finishing another one. Its not fair to the authors, its not fair to my brain. so i was going to finish that book in about 15 minutes and sit and watch people for the rest of the waiting period. So i just had to drink coffee. Plus it was staring me at the face and the smell sooo seductive, yes like sexually seductive, coffee can be such an erotic experience.




Theres just something about big furry mammals.

Bolbous

My happy IDEA bulb is off at the moment.

checkup

i look 15, which means im gonna be a pretty hot old lady /call me up in 40 years/ maybe with braces, two more years baby.
i keep wearing this shirt. this is probably the 3rd time this week. my other clothes seem to have vanished. laundry is a word that is no longer part of my vocabulary.

hands and feet is this semesters focus. im facing this as a child, everything put out there is an opportunity to learn.
the afternoon light in my bedroom has a bluish hue which is great for napping or stretching. i love my bed.

Dreameng

I dream too much. I sleep for hours, and when i finally wake up, i feel more tired than when i went to bed. I'm keeping a dream journal and i keep looking things up in a dream dictionary. It may be just like reading my horoscope, but i dont really give a shit. According to the dictionary, my dreams have a theme. They all point toward a "problem" in my waking life, which i am not aware of, but somehow i try to solve it at night through symbols, like scratched cars and dark kitchens. Well, as much fun as the fantasy dreams can be (riding huge escalators and having ants all over my dress) i want all of them to stop. I suppose the only way to stop them is to solve this problem.

BE BOLD i tell myself

Super Tami

I've developed an amazing ability.

Library Books Weekend

"Cada artista, cada leitor terá provavelmente seu próprio repertório de concidências, ou talvez até mesmo de erros cometidos que se transfomaram em acertos. Constituem sempre eventos imprevistos e surpreendentes. No entanto, parecem ocorrer num momento exato de vida, momento por vezes decisivo na realização de certos objetivos.
...
Antes de mais nada, há o grande ACASO na vida de cada pessoa, que é a sua próproa existênica. É a personalidade da pessoa: na constelação de certas potencialidades, certas predisposições vitais diante do viver, certos dotes e inclinações, seu ânimo e também suas atividades de caráter. Nesta unicidade de cada pessoa há o acaso existencial (por que Mozart e não Salieri?). Mas é um acaso que irá se converter em contexto de NECESSIDADE para o indivíduo, pois suas potencialidades representarão forças inelutáveis, de cuja realização ele não poderá fugir sob pena de se sentir aniquilado em seu íntimo ser. São estas potencialidades inatas de cada um, que geram os impulsos poderosos a mover o indivíduo a vida inteira, numa busa de realização que se entreleça com a busca de sua própria identidade."
- Fayga Ostrower "Acasos e criação artística"
pg2-3

Everyday i have something to be thankful for. That's the truth, and i want to remind myself.

curls curls cozy curls

2d

im drawing again
im ok with working on technique. though its not as fulfilling

Books and Such

I'm picking up this habit of downloading every book i want to read. I told myself i would read more this year, so i started a list of books that interest me. This was last week, there are already 10 titles on my list and so far i've read the first chapter of the first book. I'm so curious about them all, but i realized the hardest part about reading is not finding an interesting book, or buying/downloading it, its the actual act of reading. I downloaded this book called The Unbearable Lightness of Being, it starts out great. Im on page 10, around there, and its getting a bit scary. I have never come in contact with characters such as these. And theyre thrown at me so violently, everytime i start reading i feel a bit of anxiety, and i think, what an amazing writer................really, or is it just me? I'm not sure.

Bluh

i picked flowers last year during lunch. i needed somewhere to put them so i made a vase.

Im so sick of this.
its the 4th week of school, and my thoughts about it are already becoming dull. people are dull.

Today there was a assembly, to discuss this years student government, somehow someone heard that the school was recieving money from some institution and that none of the students would be taking part of the decisions of where that money is going, so a few students put together this meeting. I was thinking about making some changes in the school, at least physically, like cleaner walls, toilet paper in the bathrooms, materials. But now that there are people thinking about it im not really interested anymore. it should be the other way around. but i rather come up with the idea and have other people assess me, other than join a huge group and struggle to get my ideas through, plus be somebody elses little errand runner. fuck that, i guess its my lazy nature.

i know i want to go somewhere, but i dont know exaclty where, and right now i dont know how to get there.

i really need help.

with everything.

shitty weekend

3d Project Part 2

After filling up the tray i had to pick out a few leaves and shells. i have to replicate them on the surface, i cant carve in, so it has to look like its just sitting there, and not sinking into the tray. i started the leaf today, my back hurts so much, i cant concentrate when im sitting down so im standing for 3 hours. One great thing about this class is that you do "sculpture" and sauna at the same time, there is no circulation of air whatsoever. And the smell is just so pleasant. (this is me being positive)I picked one of these, i dont remember which. They all kind of look the same.

This is the view from the stairs, from the drawing and art history bulding, by building i mean two floors and like 10 rooms, the whole campus just feels like a farm (theres a family of cats roaming around). the white building in the background is where i take 3d, i sit right across that window to the left. And on the center of the picture theres a sculpture that, im assuming, was inspired by Degas, im assuming.

This is the main building seen from the gate. I didnt take this picture, it was borrowed from google some time ago so idk the link.


I want this all to go by really fast. All this begginer shit, getting to know your space and your tools. belhhhhhh puke on it.
I want to move closer to the school, its just too far away, the bus took about half an hour to come today and then it takes me an hour to get home. At least i have one air conditioned class to look foward to. (because my teacher is a girly girl and couldnt stand the heat)

Today

i finally got it super smooth like it should be. i work very slowly, i found out.

not so busy month, yet.

i made a headband.

First 3d Project: Process

Step 1- I had to buy a wooden board for this project. My teacher, Paulo, said we could ask this guy named Chico to make us one for 10 reals. When he said this, he pointed to what seemed at the time to be across the street from the school. After walking around the whole block trying to find a small woodshop where a guy named Chico worked, i ran into this girl that had already bought hers. She took us to Chico, and he was literally right where the teacher pointed to. Theres a little room right across the classroom, apparently he lives and works inside the school. So after i had the board, i put a garbage bag over it (to protect the wood from water, im guessing), and then put the nails in (i havent touched a hammer since 9th grade).

After that i had to begin applying the clay, this took me about 1 hour to get into it, at first i was trying not to get it into my nails. A few hours later i realized that was impossible and i had to stop being such a girl. I got shit all over my hands, ohh and the best part is we cant get clay in the sinks so if we have clay on our hands we cant wash it off in the sink!. So i did what everyone does in a situation like this, i waited till the teacher left the classroom and then washed my hands. i know its horrible and the sink is probably going to start flooding in a few weeks, but as a student i have every right to demand a healthy working enviroment . hahThis is after i applied the first layer of clay. It was a huge work out.

Art College or College for Artists?

The right answer is: Art College. i have met only one person so far that claims to be an artist. The rest arent even there yet. Most of them dream of being manga cartoonists or wathever. I say its just a phase, as soon as all the enchanting magic of art hits them in the face, theyll rethink that crap. I hope, because it's just sad.

First day of 2D:
Sketch from observation (geometric shapes) , how to center a drawing and measure its proportions.

my scanner cut off some parts, bleh. but it is pretty centered. and i got some angles wrong. repeating all this crap isnt so bad, it gives me time to relax.
By the end of the semester we'll be doing still life. Omg apples and pears yay! No, seriously, im pretty excited. Maybe.
I'm just glad im back in the field, and this time its for good.

things to do during lunch break

Porco Aranha

Doggy Scan

these are my 4 favorite parts of my pet, and i wanted to share them.

Gustav Klimt

Every time i read his name i only thought of the few times i glimpsed at that poster on Ms. Maguire's wall during art history. Until today i was only familiar with "The Kiss", then i googled his name and came across this website: iKlimt . I looked through the work and fell in love with it. Very daring. I dont know why but many of the painters i like seem to have worked during the early 1900's, like J. W. Waterhouse and Henry Darger. But Klimt is a whole different story, and im so glad i remembered him.
Water Sprites (1894) Water Snakes I (1904-1907)

Durr..

scanner is old and dirty but working

Albert Andrea Einstein

Bahia

Going to the dentist, background music: courtesy of my mother


On the way back, you can hear my extremely attractive nasal voice.

I found this website, Bahia-online, that talks about everything in my city. It tells you the best places to eat/to buy/etc. The best part are the tips on how to not look gringo and avoid being robbed. I learned things myself, and also read things that took me all these years to learn. It's a good website, i just wish it had more pictures.

I also made a sign that says you can call me for any painting or photography work, its been a few weeks since its been sitting in my moms car. she hasnt put it up yet. i think she is scared that i might actually get a job and start earning money myself. i dont know what will happen to my mom once im completely independant. I've never seen her do anything that wasnt connected to my well-being. shell probably be getting a lot of facials and pedicures.

Threesies

a bus stop

a cactus
a sunset

I went to the doctor

i have nose airway issues, like nose/throat/ears, whatever they are i might need surgery. Tami's big surgery #2, its still a maybe, but if it's gonna let me smell like a normal person, i am SO up for it.

2009 Accomplishment #1

I have sewed my first piece of clothing. i was very anxious and worked very quickly so i did a very poor job on the stitches, i can sew a straight line but the stitches where horrible, i probably did something wrong on the machine since i was rushing, but it looks good from far away, if you dont consider the fabric. These are oficially my grey's anatomy shorts, i am watching every episode in them from now on.

Food Art

Today i watched this movie called Crossing Delancey , I could tell it was a chick flick right away, i was expecting the airport chase at the end etc. but there was something about it that didnt make me feel guilty for watching. Most bad movies make me feel guilty, because i want to give it a chance but i never know when to put an end to it, so i end up watching the whole movie feeling guilty that i even considered not finishing it.
Oh yes, nothing like a good meal during a bad movie, and when im done eating and get bored i just make food art.

And of course take pictures of it.